You may notice that this film doesn’t have a star rating and that is not an error, this film does not deserve any star or half a star, it doesn’t even deserve the vitriol I’m about the unleash. This film doesn’t deserve our attention we just need to destroy every memory of this insult to comedy, cinema and basic human decency, HOW IN THE HOLY HELL WAS THIS GREENLIT?!

Basically this “movie” is a series of ill convinced poorly written “comedy” short films cobbled together, all telling a different story of varying insulting garbage. Between each “story” is an abysmal “narrative” of why all the movies are being shown, some teenagers are looking for “Movie 43” because of some stupid fucking reason and the actors are so terrible in it. Basically Movie 43 is the cause of the apocalypse (in the story and probably also in reality). Everything about this movie is insulting, during its run time every demographic is insulted with such offensive humour that you almost become numb to it. The jokes do not land, you’re laughing more at your situation, laughing at the series of events that has led to you watching this abortion of cinema. Pray to whatever deity you believe in that you never view this rancid, toxic plague.

The most peculiar thing about this film is that it boasts a talented cast, what black magic did these people conjure to land these people for such putrid garbage. Some of these people are goddamn Academy Award winners, not washed up Academy Award winners, RELEVANT ACADEMY AWARD WINNERS! KATE WINSLET IS IN THE MOVIE!. I can’t believe that these actors could participate in this abomination, no amount of money could convince someone to be in this. My guess would be a Hollywood fixer was one of the producers and had the appropriate blackmail for their A-Listers or the cocaine going around town had been spiked leading to terrible decision-making from all parties.

Look I know how hard it is to make a film, I know how much work goes into the process: good or bad, the cast and crew of a film will work their ass off so I feel bad for the people involved in this project. But if Movie 43 is in your résumé then scratch it off, burn any remnant you can, God can only hope you submitted a pseudonym and it can’t be traced back to you. Nothing about this movie works, it’s disgusting gross out humour, sexist, racist lazy jokes that just shouldn’t be viewed by anyone. I don’t even think this would be a good movie to watch even when on hallucinogens, I don’t care how good you think your weed is, it will not make Movie 43 viewable in any sense.

Now it may seem that I’m just ranting for the sake of ranting but I’m not, the moment this film starts it just catering to the lowest form of intelligence. It treats the audience like a brain-dead imbecile it never tries to do anything interesting they think slapping a pair of prosthetic testicles onto Hugh Jackman’s neck is the epitome of comedy. It just gets worse from there, it physically hurts your brain to continue viewing this, there is absolutely nothing redeemable about this. The few funny moments this film had are beaten by its unstoppable hoard of terrible content, Movie 43 destroys everything around it.

I watched this movie due to a request that I needed a bad review on this site because I was currently on a hot streak. The last five films I saw in the theatre have been amazing but apparently I needed to prove I could also review bad movies, so here I’ve reviewed Movie 43 and now I’m sad. When you get past the disgust, the anger, the overwhelming urges of murder, you are just left feeling sad. How could a film like this happen? Who would be so persistent in getting this film through all the production processes? WHY WAS IT RELEASED!

Hopefully this film will dissolve in the dangerous mixture of alcohol I’m about to consume to kill the brain cells with most recent memories. This review serves as a warning to myself and any other who may find themselves curious about how bad Movie 43 really is. Don’t watch it, Don’t think about it, I hope I never have to watch a film like this again.

 

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